Funny Things Trolls

I had been here before, a long time ago. It was before the thousand-year war, before the domination of man. I remember it now, not at first. In the first few days I couldn’t remember but slowly as the weeks passed it came back to me. Was it eight maybe nine hundred years ago. There was so much to remember, so much to forget.

The gully hadn’t changed at least I don’t think it had, a steep mountain stream rushing over well-worn rocks crashing from pool to pool on its journey to the sea. I am not a fan of the rain forest, give me the cool northern climate anytime. It was hot and sticky, cooler at night. It helped as that was the time I needed to be most alert. I could sleep through the day when it was so warm.

All these years I had been working, a good job worthwhile you might say. Nothing to do now though but stay hidden and sit patiently waiting for my quarry wherever it may be in this small world. When he passes and pass he will I shall destroy him.

Funny things trolls, well not exactly funny but they are not what people think or how they are portrayed in fairy tales, not quite. I suppose the best way to descried them is mutants, they all started off as normal humans like you but grew into evil monsters. The worst are those who have committed the most heinous crimes and never once showed any sign of remorse. Slowly over generations they change and become the monsters we seek.

The fairy tales are closer to the truth when they describe Trolls. They are big seven or eight feet tall, massively built and very strong. They are not exactly dim but sometimes their senses are diminished by age. Some are thousands of years old, it takes hundreds of years before they become a true monster a true troll.

They tend to hunt at night, not because they will explode or turn to stone through the day that’s a myth. It’s just that, well imagine if people saw a seven-foot, forty stone festering warty monster, dripping with blood and flesh wandering around their towns and villages, it wouldn’t be good.

Fortified and fed by the pure evil that emanates deep inside them and of course their very high protein diet they grow and live for thousands of years. Any kind of fresh animal will do dogs, cats, and sheep but of course they have a favourite, which is why we are needed because what they do is terribly wrong.

Will we ever rid the earth of these evil creatures? I don’t think so, not while ever they are waiting under bridges or deep in the forest. While ever humans are around and trolls are hungry the world will need the likes of me to try and keep some order.

Here I am then, three weeks I have been sitting here hidden, waiting. I know he is coming, I know he uses this path I can smell his tracks and in all the villages down the valley there have been strange happenings and disappearances.

Who am I? Haldor the troll slayer of course. I suppose you might say I look a bit like a troll myself. I am not, I am different. We have one purpose in our life, to protect your kind from these terrible monsters. You may be wondering what I eat to be so large and strong. I thought that would be obvious. Trolls of course. Hush now what’s that sound Oh good he is coming; dinner is crashing down the path straight towards me.


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